It's about character

Sometimes, you happen upon a story or article that sticks with you for some reason. We're sweltering in San Antonio, and I woke up because it is HOT in here and for some reason the AC wasn't cycling (it wasn't turned on). I popped on to Facebook, as I tend to do sometimes when insomnia strikes, and read one such story, a friend of a friend.

A mother posted that her son had received an award for outstanding character, among other things from his JROTC unit. With the article, the mother commented that she couldn't believe the award was given to her son. The first time I read it, I thought it was one of those, "I'm so proud" type of posts, but reading through the comments, I was stunned to read over and again, "That kid?" I mean, I get one or two family members or friends commenting on it and joking, but nearly every comment disparaged the very character that the award had recognized.

At that moment, I had one of those epiphanies that makes you wonder, do I do that? Do I denigrate recognition from others when my children are lauded? I certainly hope that I don't, but I fear that I do. I know sometimes it is a matter of humility, trying to maintain that level of, "aw shucks" that is somewhat expected in local society.

I guess what really struck me about the post was the fact that this young man accomplished something that seemed really extraordinary, and the family and friends who are supposed to love and support him most, posted things like, "would have been better if it were Navy JROTC," "they must not have known him very well," and "I can't believe HE got an award for character!" I can't help but think that the boy must be pretty amazing indeed to be able to rise above such negativity and demonstrate character that garnered such an acknowledgment.

My children are not perfect, and I know that I can be their largest cheerleader as well as their harshest critic, at times. I use the term critic, in the sense that I correct their behavior, hopefully in a constructive way for the most part, to ensure that they follow the right path, and learn the right way. The post in my news feed has brought an awareness to the forefront of my mind, that I need to make sure that I am being constructive, and that my criticisms always come from a place of love and help rather than simply criticizing to point out their flaws. This was also in my feed, very nearby the other post.

And it reminded me of something else that I read recently...

I hope that I am making a positive impression, and finding the things that make each of them unique and special and whole, and that I am building these things up, making sure that they know that I appreciate them, that I appreciate their strengths. I am recommitting myself to encouraging these strengths on this trip. When the idea for this trip first came about, I hoped that we'd build some of the characteristics that I hope they will be able to use throughout their lives- practical things like map reading, computing gas mileage and travel times and so on as well as coping and interpersonal skills garnered through close living and getting out and playing outside. 

We are a few months into our trip and I am feeling like we all need to recommit to these  goals. And so begins another day, and another opportunity to build them up and help ensure that when their amazing character is celebrated by others, our friends, family and parents will be sure to agree, not question the celebration. I will celebrate my children, because they are pretty amazing.